Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Thoughts on the Domestic Engineer

I love that title, Mom mentioned it as something to put on a resume so it doesn't look like I've done "nothing" for the past couple of years. After all, just because one doesn't get monetary payment for a job doesn't mean it's not a job. Seriously, what other job requires one to be a chauffeur, laundromat, chef, teacher, therapist, and maid all in one? True I haven't had all of these responsibilities yet but they are in my future.

So in my last therapy session before the baby comes, I discovered something that I felt needed to be shared. It is part of my duty as a wife to take care of myself physically. It's also part of my duty to God to take care of my body as it is His temple, but there is also an obligation to my husband. I'm not talking about make-up and super stylish clothing necessarily, but rather to eat healthy and lose enough weight and fat (after the baby's born, of course!) to get down to a healthy size (preferably down to where I was when we got married). It is in his interest to see me healthy and know that I care enough about myself to take the time and energy to be healthy. Now back to the make-up and clothing...while I've never been the type of woman to pour on layers of "stuff" on my face or have the latest style clothing and hair, I do see the benefit of putting on a touch of lip gloss and a bit of foundation to cover up random acne and smooth out my features. Maybe even a touch of mascara (unless I know I'm going to cry for some reason or another :D), and not just for going out. Even getting out of my pj's goes to show that I care enough about my husband to do SOMETHING to show him.

Of course, at this point of the pregnancy, I'm lucky if I manage to make it out of bed before noon each day let alone get dressed up but this is only temporary. Not being able to fit into ANY of my clothes at the moment severely limits my wardrobe choices.

Anyway, I also learned that making myself look presentable and even a bit more feminine to my husband not only helps the marriage, but will provide an excellent example to my child(ren) as to how a relationship works. If I devote all my time to my kid and not any to my husband, that gives the child a warped idea of how a marriage works. My first duty must be to God, my second to my husband, and my third to children (this I don't think includes absolute necessities of say...feeding and diapering an infant. That's definitely a priority for the first few months). Not only will this give my child an understanding of how a good relationship works (not to mention his religious upbringing), but will also be a tool in teaching him not to be selfish. If my world doesn't revolve completely around my kid, my kid won't get the idea that the world MUST revolve around him (a problem I think is inherent with many of the liberal mindset today, the "me me me" generation).

Of course, I could be wrong, but I think I might be on to something here...anyway the main answer that I came away with today was that I have an obligation to be a good wife in more ways than one and that I must work on ALL the aspects of my role. Who doesn't want their husband to be happy?

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