Thursday, January 3, 2008

Lets Clear Out the Gene Pool

People amaze me. I don't know why I'm still shocked when I read stuff like this, but people amaze me. So lately I've been reading customer reviews for various baby products, mostly furniture or gear. One particular item is the bassinet we received as a shower gift. Now keep in mind that I really like this bassinet so far because of its style and features although the baby still hasn't come yet.

So I decided to check out the reviews for it and was amazed at the amount of "new parents" who reviewed that the mattress felt too thin to them so they added a "nice thick blanket" so their precious child would be "comfortable". Okay, so as an adult I don't think I could stand to sleep on such a thin mattress, that's why I have a nice pillow-top on mine. But then I am also old enough that I don't accidentally suffocate myself by pressing my face against the sheet. An infant (especially a newborn that cannot hold its head up) has not developed the reflexes necessary to keep themselves from suffocating when wrestling with a large thick blanket. Not to mention children have grown up perfectly fine for generations without having super padding under their precious bottoms.

Oy. I think these are the same people that warning labels are intended for. I don't mean warning labels that display un-obvious dangers, but the ones that anybody with a shred of sense would understand. Such as "Poptarts are hot when removed from the toaster" or "do not immerse hairdryer in water". No, really? "Do not spray bleach in eyes".

Then there's the people who either can't or refuse to read assembly instructions. I was visiting a couple of friends recently who had a baby not too long ago. In their living room was a Graco Pack n Play. I have since discovered that these are the coolest contraptions for new parents. It is basically one piece and pretty much snaps into position but can easily be broken down and put in a travel case to, say....visit grandparents. I have a feeling the one we got the other day will see quite a bit of use. Sean and I made sure we followed all of the instructions when putting it together (Sean apparently didn't think he needed to follow the instructions, and was trying to figure out why it wasn't going together correctly, but then he's an engineer. They never think they need to read the instructions.), and are quite happy with how it works.

Then I realized the one that these friends we visited had assembled theirs incorrectly (when the sides snap into place, THEN you have to push down on the middle of the bottom until it's flat and snaps into place), they hadn't pushed the bottom all the way down. This could cause the entire structure to collapse and seriously injure their baby. Either they didn't bother reading the assembly instructions or were too lazy to put it together correctly (or both). These people are also the type who think they know absolutely everything there is to know about pregnancy and parenting and insist that we should do what they do.

I don't think so. I'll stick with reading manufacturer instructions for assembling my baby's furniture and checking with my OB and pediatrician for pregnancy and baby health advice.

Personally I think warning labels should be done away with. That way, the ignorant will die out and we can clear out the gene pool. No, I'm not seriously wishing the death of anyone to occur, it would occur naturally. Rawr. ;)

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