Monday, February 4, 2008

Having a Baby Changes Everything

And I don't mean what you think I mean. Obviously there's the change in sleep schedule for Sean and me, and being completely responsible for a tiny creature completely dependent on me, but what I want to describe here is something more.

My heart now does something funny when I hear my son make any noise. I am delighted when he makes eye contact with me. I never quite realized how this precious little human being could completely change me, and I doubt I can put it into words, but I'll try.

George has strengthened my relationship with Sean. I'm not sure exactly how, but he has brought us closer together. Perhaps it is the knowledge that this little guy is the loving result of marital unity. In addition to this facet of our relationship we have discovered, we have also found out some interesting things about each other not previously known, such as....Sean is an excellent cook!

I like to bake (my chocolate chip cookies are the bestest, according to my toughest critics ^_^ ), but I'm not the world's best cook. Sure, I can throw together a pre-made frozen dinner or whip up a meatloaf, but it's just not enjoyable for me. Not only has Sean discovered he likes to cook, but he's very good at it! We've been eating real meals for the first time in years thanks to his mad cooking skillz.

I've discovered that I'm not so bad at this mothering thing. I have never been very confidant in my child-care abilities around other people's children, and have a tendency to pass the kid off to someone else after a few moments. Sean has always handled children much better than I have, so I was surprised to discover I hate putting my son down. I feel slightly guilty when I'm not holding him 24/7. I may not like it when he cries during diaper changes, but I have an overwhelming love for this beautiful baby boy. I can't fathom how some parents can intentionally hurt their children, especially now when I have one of my own.

I have also discovered that I have less anger (although I do get a bit frustrated with those screaming diaper changes...but am discovering ways to lessen the angst...such as a binkie and VERY soft wipes) now that I'm someone's mommy. Aside from the "Baby Blues" I've been dealing with, I'm finding myself with more patience. I'm also learning to release control of certain aspects of my life and have found it oddly relaxing. Other people have been cleaning my kitchen and folding my laundry and doing it a bit differently than me...but I am amazed that I don't mind any more. Guess I am getting my priorities straightened out now....

Yes, having a baby really changes everything.

1 comment:

sanctus.liberalis said...

Hey, I have always liked to cook. I used to cook frequently for you when you had a job. I just left the cooking to when while I was the only one working since most of the other chores you despise. :P