I was all set to write an inflammatory post about my frustrating experience at the post office today, but I had to give George his bottle and rock him to sleep first. By the time I laid him down I remembered the conversation in prayer that I had with God last night.
After participating in all sorts of interweb activities that ended around 12:30, I went to bed frustrated and agitated about all sorts of things. Finances, expensive and time-consuming home improvement, worries about George being sick all weighed heavily on my mind while I coughed like crazy from the cold that has been bugging me all week. I realized that I had been lax in my prayers lately and had begun to rely on myself more than God.
Without going into the specifics of my worries (this blog isn't exactly a confessional booth), I began pouring my heart out in prayer. I whispered to God of the sins I had committed, of the opportunities for prayer I had passed up in the last few weeks, and then I thought one last time of all the bills and paperwork that needed tending. In that moment, I realized that none of it was important enough for me to stress out about.
"Lord," I said, "I don't have the strength to worry about these things. I am too weak to be burdened by this stress, and with You, I know I don't have to be burdened so. Here You go. Take my stress, take my worries, take it away from me, I give it to You. I will no longer worry about such trivial matters. I will wake up tomorrow morning refreshed by Your grace and I will deal with what needs to be dealt with but I will not worry over it."
My days have been centered around me (or George) lately, and it has gotten me nowhere. It dawned on me during that prayerful conversation that I needed to center my days around God. If I make Him the center, things will fall into place. All of a sudden my entire body relaxed and I was barely able to eke out an "Amen" and sign of the cross before drifting off to sleep.
I woke up this morning before Sean's alarm went off and was a little shocked to realize I wasn't coughing, and I had slept through the night. The next thing I noticed was that there was no coughing coming from George's room as there had been the last few mornings. So far today I have taken out the trash, run errands, paid bills, straightened out some bills that needed straightening, and I'm about to put a loaf of pear-raisin bread in the oven all on top of taking care of George. We still have a bit of our coughs lingering but neither of us are congested any more and I haven't been hacking up green and brown phlegm.
What a blessing the Lord has given me, a fresh chance to do things right. Some might argue that George and I were going to be getting better anyway since the sickness had run its course. If you want to believe that, go ahead. But I know that the peace I felt last night and throughout today (except for the short time this afternoon when I began to give in to the temptation of anger) comes from the Lord.
Besides, I made bread today, that has to be a miracle, right?
May the peace of the Lord be always with you.